No sir-ree, it wasn’t this episode that nearly killed a stunt man in a marsh — the very same marsh used for Planet of the Apes’ “Ape City,” which itself had to be cut up to retrieve the Viper set piece. (Don’t worry Starbuck, the next planet you’ll crash on won’t have a marsh.)

Remembering Classic Battlestar Galactica’s “The Young Lords” — A 41-Yahren Retrospective

It’s Starbuck’s turn to be shot down and stranded on a planet, this time one with a castle! Also, it was mostly shot at night, so a great many performers and production crew were paid handsomely for filming this.

Warning: This analytical article contains spoilers and critical commentary for viewers who may not have seen the entire Battlestar Galactica series. Views are the author’s own, derived from his informed opinions and observations.

Also, this piece is written in a stream of consciousness, so the author kindly asks for any indulgences relating to both grammar and structure.

In what is a retelling of “rescuing the princess from the castle” but with a gender-swapping twist, “The Young Lords” is written by Donald Bellisario, Frank Lupo, and Paul Playdon, and directed by Bellisario himself.

Galactica Factron: Bellisario is better known to genre fans for the creation of Quantum Leap, a show where the protagonist “jumps” into people’s bodies to “set right what once went wrong” — sometimes they were men like he was, sometimes they were women. (In fact, a later Battlestar episode by Bellisario would use this concept to greater effect, predating Leap! However, we’re not there yet, so moving on…)

And thus, it’s time again to not only make use of existing areas on the Universal Studios backlot but also of very expensive night shooting and overtime. This ever-growing dance of poor financial management by the “one step forward, two steps back” shuffle would continue throughout Galactica’s history, culminating into the short-lived Galactica 1980.

“Back in my day we had TV Guide.” / “Ok boomer.”

This is a “Starbuck episode,” so it has a little bit of everything for our Colonial Casanova. This includes the even then-questionable romantic interest in the form of Audrey Lander’s Miri who crushed for Starbuck throughout… and that’s all that’ll be said about that, as there are more interesting things to discuss.

Thus, once upon a time, a Cylon squadron clashes with two of Galactica’s Vipers, piloted by Lieutenants Boomer (Herbert Jefferson Jr.) and Starbuck (Dirk Benedict), resulting in Starbuck being unable to return to the Fleet and needing to set down somewhere. After some touching “this can be interpreted as ‘good-bye’ if shit hits the fan” banter between them, Boomer returns to Galactica to secure Starbuck’s rescue from the very planet that our protagonist shall be crashing on shortly.

Now, for those of you at home, this would be the second time Starbuck has crash-landed his Viper. And so, there will be some familiar damage footage that originated from “Saga of a Star World,” when Starbuck is forced to crash-land in Galactica’s landing bay during that saga.

“A Viper pilot only flies three fighters–the one he trains in, the one he escapes from, and the one he dies in.” — Starbuck, quoting his old flight instructor in “The Young Lords”

With that out in the open, we can easily surmise that Starbuck drew the free replay for the second Viper.

To make things more exotic, the Viper crash lands upon a marsh’s dune, and Starbuck moans and groans his way out of the wreck — only to see a quintet of Cylon Centurions coming for him through high grass. Pretty quickly, Starbuck decides to wade chest-deep through the murky marsh, likely hoping that the Cylons weren’t waterproofed.

Much to Starbuck’s chagrin, the Cylons hadn’t succumbed to water damage and manage to catch him at the dramatic end of a lumbering pursuit. So much for that.

Stuntmen march into the marsh to destroy some expensive robot armor. The things that are sacrificed for entertainment, eh?

According to Dirk Benedict, what wasn’t captured on-screen is the fact that one of the Centurion stuntmen stumbled and fell into the marsh water. Due to the cumbersome nature of the Cylon suit, the stuntman nearly drown and had been saved by members of the filming unit.

The same could not be said about the costumes, as trudging through the marsh water had destroyed those beyond repair. Between that and the episode’s later pyrotechnics, numerous Cylon costumes were sacrificed to make this episode. As such, it should come as little surprise when later episodes of the series focused on other antagonists, cf. Lloyd Bridges, Patrick Macnee, space-faring jackbooted fascists, and mutineers.

Wait fellow young lords, there’s more! In order to extricate the life-size Viper set piece from the marsh at Malibu’s Fox Ranch, Planet of the Apes’ “Ape City” had to be cut up in order to allow for the placement of a crane to accomplish the retrieval.

From those peeks behind the curtain of the unrelenting madness that had been Galactica’s short-lived production, we move back into the narrative.

Oy vey! Starbuck has been captured by the Cylons for the second time to date, and a Cylon wearing thermoformed and chromed armor fireman-carries him back to their castle. As the costumes were already screwed, may as well go for broke.

Regardless, nothing is easy in this episode, and that is proven by the appearance of unicorn cosplayers and guerrilla warriors. These intrepid LARPers, the “young lords” of this title, would later make short work of the robots and save our hero. How quaint.

Equestrian cosplayers and their handlers en route to Atilla Con ‘78.

Four-plus decades (deca-yahrens?) later, it’s easy to make mockery of this episode. One could go on doing so ad infinitum, however it does have its redeeming value for the best character-driven parts of this episode are the two B-stories:

1. Baltar (John Colicos) being played by Specter (voiced by Murray Matheson) much to Lucifer’s (Jonathan Harris) consternation.
2. A sick Adama (Lorne Greene) on bed-rest while being tended to by Cassiopeia (Laurette Spang) and a not-so-sneaky Boxey (Noah Hathaway).

It should be noted that one of the most compelling components of the original Battlestar Galactica is its secondary characters, particularly how they added depth and breadth to the show over time. It would have been easy to treat them as interchangeable characters to ensure the plot kept moving, (cf. Lost In Space’s other characters vis-à-vis Will, Dr. Smith and the Robot) but between the script-writers’ dutiful execution of these B-stories and the performers, they elevated this episode by adding texture to the mythology.

“Oh, cut the bleeding heart felgercarb will ya? We’ve all got our switches, lights, and knobs to deal with, Lucifer. I mean, right here there are literally hundreds and thousands of blinking, beeping, and flashing lights, blinking, beeping and flashing — they’re flashing and they’re beeping. I can’t stand it anymore! They’re blinking and beeping and flashing! Why doesn’t somebody pull the plug?” — “Galactiguised” without apology to Airplane II: The Sequel

For Baltar, he finds great comfort and comedy in the obvious spat between Lucifer and Specter. Having surrendered himself to being a stooge for the Imperious Leader, Baltar ensures that his options were kept open, but in doing so he was susceptible to Specter’s obvious flattery. Thus, Baltar is quick to take Specter’s side against the questioning Lucifer, demonstrating that Baltar truly is a self-serving traitor for all seasons.

Cassiopeia tending to the Voice of Doom.

On board Galactica, we find that the otherwise perfect patriarch could be quite human, thus allowing the other characters to take charge. This also turned something mundane into an important point: by becoming sick just like anyone else, it didn’t need to be the driving force of the plot (as with the later “Fire in Space,” or the earlier “Lost Planet of the Gods”). This also gives Cassiopeia a chance to shine on her own without being relegated to being Starbuck’s arm candy and a foil for Athena (Maren Jensen).

Further, while Boxey and Muffit both make an appearance, this allows Adama to play to his own fatherly side, something that he hasn’t done for a while. It is a nice change of pace for Adama to go back to “simpler times,” without having to worry incessantly about the Quorum, Cylons, or other problems.

Thus, both these character-driven sub-plots aid in explaining the ongoing allure of the original 1978 saga, despite its obvious and varied shortcomings. The show was about family that would continue on, despite the various adversities on the “lonely quest, for a shining planet known as Earth.”

Contrast this to what would later happen on Atilla, as that family would eventually die out despite the Cylons’ rapid departure from the planet. Only six humans of familial relation left on the planet, and no one from the Fleet joined them. Just think about that.

Or don’t, because the next episode has Patton in Space.